As It turns out, I’m not funny. 

As I was walking through the corridor to the library, one of my Y10 students smiled and said, “See you later’ alligator!”

I stopped her and asked if she knew the difference between an alligator and a crocodile.

Three Y3 girls nearby listened with interest. 

“Not really,” she said, “What is it?”

I answered with a grin, “One will see you later, and one will see you in a while.”

She rolled her eyes and groaned, and then one of the younger girls said, very loudly, “I don’t get it.”

“Yeah!” said one of her friends. “That’s a dumb joke.”

The third little girl, with a look of grave admonition on her face, said, “Teachers shouldn’t tell jokes when it sounds like they’re going to teach you something good.”
That’s me. Failing since 1.05pm today. 

The Football Blues.

Last night, I watched the match between Geelong and Carlton. It was abysmal, but with a sense of grim determination, I watched to the end.

I’ve been a Carlton FC member for over 20 year, and I love my club. Naturally, I want to see them win, but right now I’d be happy to at least see them being competitive.
I’m pretty sure I’m not alone in that.

However, I feel like I’m the only one not baying for the coach’s blood in a silver chalice by the next full moon. I’m so tired of people calling for Mick Malthouse to be sacked as coach of Carlton.

It’s true that the team couldn’t beat the Lower Gidgeebugga reserves at the moment. But I don’t think it’s fair to put the blame on Mick Malthouse. Before him, they blamed Brett Ratten. Before him, they blamed Denis Pagan.

Let’s be honest. Since the glory days of the mid 1990s, Carlton have struggled to string a few consecutive wins together. You can’t blame the current coach for something that has been a problem for two decades.

The way the media and most football pundits are behaving reminds me of those years when Richmond couldn’t put four good quarters of football together in the one game, and subsequently changed their coach more often than some people change their underwear. Melbourne have been guilty of the same thing.

I think it’s time the players took some of the responsibility.

Yeah, I know.
Shock and horror.
A Carlton member blaming the team for the most incredible demonstration of under-performance in living memory. Unheard of.

Seriously, it’s about time the boys went back to basics.
Kick it straight.
Kick it long.
Quit stuffing around with the ball and turning it over.
Watch every Blues match from 1995 and learn to play like that.
Stop playing as individuals and learn to work together as a cohesive, cooperative unit.

The team as a whole need to stop looking at themselves as underdogs and developed a positive, determined attitude every day of the week instead of trying to muster one on game days when they don’t think the opposition is too hard to beat.

This is stuff that I’m just not seeing. I watch every game, even though it hurts, and I listen to the commentaries of ex-players and experts who know far more about football than I do, and I know I am not the only person saying these things.

I really hope they don’t just blame Malthouse, let him go, and find another coach who will turn into their next scapegoat. It beggars belief that this is all his fault.

Unless he really is a Collingwood plant, a suggestion that I discussed a couple of weeks ago.  Then it might be his fault.  Sadly, though, I think I’m at the point where I actually do believe that my team really  is so bad that such conspiracy is completely unnecessary.

I know it’s a big call when the season isn’t even half-way over, but it would be a miracle if Carlton make it off the bottom of the competition ladder this season. Wooden spoon, anyone?