I’ve been absent.
It seems that I haven’t just dropped the proverbial ball when it comes to blogging regularly, I’ve gone and lost the jolly thing.
I last saw it a couple of weeks ago, when it bounced a couple of times before rolling away through some very prickly bushes and falling into a seemingly bottomless hole.
The thing is, life since that drafted virus unleashed itself on the world has been tumultuous.
I could tell you I haven’t written anything, but that’s not true. I have written some really great lessons and three entire new units because what I had planned (and written) previously wasn’t going to work in an online learning environment.
I could tell you I didn’t have a quarantine project, but that isn’t true either. I’ve had two, both of which happened by necessity rather than design.
Project One: reinventing my career
Initial Observations: Teaching from home is a whole lot more work than it sounds. All that extra time online is very tiring.
Final Observations: Challenging and exhausting, but enormously satisfying. Most students engaged really well. More positives than negatives.
Verdict: Aced it.
Project Two: supporting my father as he spent a couple of weeks in hospital before transitioning into residential aged care.
Initial observations: Lots of phone calls. Mountains of paperwork. Huge emotional adjustments.
Further Observations: Decisions are hard, even when you actually have no choice. Emotions are hard. Being on one mental and emotional roller coaster while your dad is on a completely different one can only be dealt with by hanging on for dear life and completely faking any appearance of knowing what you are doing.
Verdict: Aced it. Especially the part where I looked like I knew what I was doing.
It should also be mentioned that these two significant challenges occurred simultaneously. I didn’t have time to scratch myself, much less spend any more personal time online than I did.
So really, I’ve achieved far more since mid-March than is apparent from my nonexistent output of either blog posts or fiction.
I admit that I have seriously contemplated walking away from writing and/or blogging. Even while considering that, I knew that was the stuff of emotional and mental exhaustion, because I still have ideas and plans bubbling away in the back of my mind. I am not ready to quit, and I would be letting myself down if I did.
I will get my mojo back, even if I’m not sure when that might happen.
Stay tuned, folks. I’m not dead yet.
5 thoughts on “Having Dropped — And Temporarily Lost — The Ball”
Oh boy, how I can relate! Apart from your father thing (so very sad) I too am suffering from having too many balls in the air (not counting the ones that got away!)
Glad to share a moment with a fellow sufferer, so don’t vanish into the mist!
Thank you for the encouragement!
Part of the reason for writing this post was because I just knew I wasn’t the only one!
I so appreciate your honest reflections. Hang in there!
I’ve missed you desperately (especially the Shakespeare) but don’t let that affect any of your decisions. Swimming in molasses here, seems to take me an hour just to misplace a comma or to split an infinitive properly. I’m swearing once I finish current projects, I’ll retire to the couch with my to be read pile or to the television with my dear husband. Stop me now! Thanks for posting. I’ll not worry for a while now.