Category: Word Nerdiness

Classroom crisis. 

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This afternoon in class, one of my Literature students commented that she didn’t know what she was doing.

“Do you need help with the task?”

“No, I mean generally…”

Her friend said, “She’s just existential crisising all over the place.”

I looked at her in amazement and said, “Wow!”

I don’t usually approve of verbing, but that was impressive.

Then she continued, “Yeah, but if you want to quote me on it,  you’ll have to sign our agreements and stuff…”
So here I am, quoting her anonymously.  I didn’t sign any contract, either.  

 

 

Blend.

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2015-11-30 20.25.42

 

A blend, or portmanteau, word is one which is created by blending parts of two different words to make another.

The example posted above also carries the elements of humour, pun and cold, hard truth.

Dumb.

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2015-11-24 23.28.04

 

Haters can be so dumb.
I wonder if the guy who made the sign was in a hurry, careless, or just genuinely ignorant of the mistake he made.

Everything about this annoys me. Especially the hate.

I have no time for people who will brand all the members of one group by what a few people, who claim to be the representatives of that group, do.
I resent their attempts to change the fabric of society and the blanket statements they make.

As I’ve said before, IS claiming to be Muslim is like the KKK or Hitler claiming to be Christian.

So I decided to take the sign literally and have a little fun at the haters’ expense.  Just because I could.

No offence is intended. Unless, of course, you’re one of the haters.
Then it’s a bonus.

Word Nerd Alert on Howard Street

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Today I was driving in town with LMC. She was hinting heavily that she wanted to go into town and look at some shops.
I said, “We’re going down Howard Street.”
Bemused, she asked, “Howard Street?”
And I said, “Yes, Howard Street…” and as we crested the hill and she realised it continued into the main street of town, I said, “Howard you like to go down the street?”

She rolled her eyes, and then she said, “Actually that was pretty good. Did you make that up yourself?”
“I did.”
“When?”
“Just then.”
She smiled, thought for a moment, and said, “How odd.”

I smiled too, because that is possibly the word-nerdiest thing she’s ever said.

My kingdom for a pencil!

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My drama class was rehearsing a play which includes excerpts from a number of Shakespeare’s plays. 

While creating a donkey mask, the actor who briefly plays Richard III said, “A pencil! A pencil! My kingdom for a pencil!”

Not missing a beat, another student replied, “2B or not 2B? That is the question!”

I am so very, very proud. 

French word play in English class. 

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Student: May I go to the toilet? 

Me: Ouis!

Student: I don’t speak French.

Me: Nor do I. 

Student returns: I just got that joke on my way back to class.

Me: *internal facepalm* 

Reader. Teacher. Writer.

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Until recently, everything I have written in my blogs is truth. Some of it is allegory, concealing a kernel of truth in a story that few will recognise or understand.

A couple of weeks ago, I started an online course in writing fiction. I thought it would be great professional development as an English teacher to expand my horizons in writing techniques, crafting meaning, and creating and developing plot and characters.

So far, it has confirmed for me that my approach to teaching students about writing is effective and valuable. It has also confirmed for me that my classroom emphasis on drafting, editing and proof-reading is not misplaced.

Beyond that, I have really enjoyed the challenge of assignments that require me to respond to a prompt or to create something new.

Obviously, I draw on my own experiences and people I know for inspiration. I believe every writer does that. It’s near impossible to write about something you have not felt, experienced, or at least imagined in some detail. The stories that endure are those which relate strongly to common human experience.

If you read my pieces of fiction, you will probably recognise me in some of them. Others will see a glimpse of themselves, or a quality that they share with one of my characters.
Please don’t read anything into that. I am not commenting on real people, but rather taking an element of a character or situation that interests me, and doing something different with it.

It’s encouraging that professional development has also become personal development.

I don’t believe that anything I write will actually be published anywhere other than on my blog. I don’t aspire to that. I do enjoy writing, and I hope that you might enjoy some of my work if you take the time to read it.

You can find my writing at wordynerdbirdwrites.wordpress.com
Feel free to leave feedback if you would like to. Constructive comment is always appreciated.

Fabulous poetry.

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I’ve just discovered and followed a wonderful blog where a contemporary pop song is reworked as a Shakespearean-style sonnet. By “just discovered” I mean that I followed a link that a friend posted, and ended up spending an hour there reading the sonnets.

One might expect that the spirit or intent of the songs might be lost, but these sonnets remain true to the tone and message of the songs they are based on.
I don’t know who the author is, but this poetry is absolutely brilliant.

Find Pop Sonnets at http://popsonnet.tumblr.com/

Not only is it clever poetry, it’s something that can break down the barriers between Elizabethan and 21st century English. 
I’m definitely going to use some of these with my classes. 

Laxative Proximity.

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Today, I developed a new phrase which I think is going to prove very useful for me, if not for anyone else. 

The term is laxative proximity.  

It describes the phenomenon where the effect of a particular individual’s presence gives one the feeling or mood commonly known as “the sh*ts”. 

The higher the laxative proximity (LP), the greater that effect.

Some people can manage to have a powerful LP effect from a considerable distance. All it takes is for someone to mention their name, or they send you a text or email, or they comment on a friend’s Facebook post… and those telltale first sensations of the LP effect kick in.
Others have a more cumulative effect: the more time you spend with them, the worse it gets.
At the same time, some individuals are so toxic, it’s impossible to be completely immune. 
Hence, it should be noted that LP has quite a strong residual effect. It can take considerable time for the effect to wear off. 

I believe that my observation and definition of LP may just prove to be a significant moment in history.  
I Googled the phrase, and it seems that nobody has used the term in this sense on the internet before.  There were two or three occurrences that seemed like very poor internet based translation in response to some of the 1,350,000 results (in 0.73 seconds, no less) that suggested various forms and uses of laxatives for physical relief and/or colonic cleansing.

It really does seem as though I have achieved something I’ve often thought I’d like to do: creating a newly-coined phrase of my own.

Gosh, I’m feeling very accomplished for this early on a Friday night. 

How to wait for someone without being bored.

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Some people find waiting for others really annoying. I consider it to be a chance to stop and observe people and the things they do, or think about things, or send a quick update to Facebook or twitter. If there is nothing better to do, I’m quite capable of amusing myself – I am, after all, enormously funny.
This afternoon, for example, I was sitting in the main street of town waiting for my chauffeur (aka husband) to meet me. I smiled at the sight of the man who was standing on a ladder to wash the sign hanging outside the front of his shop, and holding onto that same ladder with his belly over the top of the ladder so that he had both hands free. Now there’s a problem solver! I was tempted to take a photo, but that would identify both the man and his shop, which would be quite politically incorrect of me since I don’t know him at all.

Ten minutes later, because I am so refined and politically correct, I performed my “internal facepalm” (where I am yelling “Oh man!!! Are you serious?” and facepalming quite vigorously on the inside, but remaining calm and collected on the outside as though nothing at all were happening) as the same gentleman wrote advertisements on his shop window for “ART SUPPLY’S” and various other special items.
Then I noticed the sign below the door of a nearby vacant shop. It read “WATCH THE STEP”.

Image

I sat there for 45 minutes, and that step didn’t do a thing. I have to say, that step wasn’t anywhere near as interesting as watching a man hold onto a ladder with his belly.