Just now in a staff meeting:
M: “The settings have to be exactly right. You can’t use a Mac, you can’t use Firefox… whatever that is…”
Me: *audible snort* and immediately thinking “Oops. That was too loud. Awkward.”
Everyone else: *looks at me while suppressing their amusement*
M: “What is it?”
Me: “It’s a browser…”
M: “Okay, now I know. Thanks!” *continues talking*
Everyone else: Pays attention.
Me: *goes to WordPress*
From time to time, teachers are asked to cover lessons for colleagues who are absent for some reason.
Today I had the privelege of covering a Y10 Health and Human Development class.
They could have been discussing exercise, nutrition or health… but, no.
That would have been waaayyy too easy. They had to be learning about male and female body parts and their functions.
While I was busy asking myself why these lessons always seem to be handed to me, I was interrupted by a student asking a question.
Student 1: “What’s the cervix again?”
Student 2: “It’s the trapdoor thing that stops the baby coming out.”
Wait. The what??
Very diplomatically, I suggested he might like to look things up in a dictionary, or at least the printed notes they had been given to read and highlight. I don’t think he did, though.
A little later, Student 1 had another question: “Are the uterus and the urethra the same thing?”
Again, I pointed him to the printed notes and the dictionary.
“How is that going to help me?” he asked.
“How indeed?” I thought to myself.
I’m sorry, Miss K. I tried.
A girl just walked into the library and said to her friends’ “I’m not wearing any pants!”
Shocked, one of her friends said, “WHAT!?”
The first girl lifts her dress up, oblivious to everyone else in the library, and says, “Ha ha, I’ve got my bathers on!”
The library was suddenly silent. Nobody wanted to look at her, so they all looked at me instead.
I asked her to put her dress down, and never lift it above her head at school again.
Everyone in the library went back to what they were doing, pretending the whole scene had never happened.